Reality TV regularly inundates us with people who tell lies so that they can remain on the series and win huge sums of money.  It seems that a large segment of society condones lying and actually supports the concept of a “good liar.” To prove the point, just consider how often you have opportunity to do business “under the table”.  No wonder it has become increasingly difficult to confront dishonesty and to do it from a Biblical perspective. The truth, at least from my perspective, is that few people – Christians included – know how to speak the truth to people in love.

Deceit must be confronted, but here in lies the challenge.  We must speak the truth in love to someone in a way that Jesus would condone and we must be sure that we have the right motive and objective.

Parables and probing questions appear to be Jesus’ main modus operandi for “telling the truth in love.” I suspect it has to do with giving the confronted an opportunity to discover their fault and repent.

A graphic and telling illustration of how Jesus dealt with lying and dishonesty is the event where a woman was caught in adultery. In John Chapter 8, the Pharisees had their way of dealing with someone lying and cheating on their spouse —public humiliation and stoning !  But look how Jesus handled this situation.  He didn’t join in on the public outcry of the people; he thoughtfully and carefully wrote something down in the sand in front of them and then stood up and declared…. “ If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”  One by one the accusers left. Only  He and the woman remained now—a private setting.  At that time, and in that moment and place, He loving and carefully and rightfully said “ Neither do I condemn you.  Go now and leave your life of sin.”  Christ’s dealing with this  person, who was caught in the web of lying/cheating/adultery, was in direct contrast to that of the prevailing idea of the leaders and people of that day.  Jesus used several ideas to achieve the right outcome here.

You might be asking, “Should I ever speak to someone about the truth?”  Absolutely.  But keep in mind these four Christly components that Jesus used in the above situation where someone was lying and was being accused  : 1) timing was/is everything (John 8 vs 9---Christ waited until the woman’s accusers had left and Christ and the woman remained —the timing was right and it was a good time to deal with the sin;  2) the environment//setting must be appropriate and not threatening ( 2^nd part of John 8 vs 9—the setting was not public –it was quiet and confidential );  3) right/godly frame of mind (John 8 vs 10-11)- He Lovingly rebuked her (he did not condemn her!) yet confronted the sin of lying and cheating—he said go and leave your life of sin ) and 4) you should have gained an “audience” with this person (Jesus had just faced her accusers and they left because of His actions —surely this woman would give Jesus an  audience and listen to what He had to say to her).   

When these  four elements synchronize,  you  can achieve the best result; the restoration of a friend and the help they require.